today i woke up thinking there was a dorm check.

and so it has ended.

i couldn't say much then because too many words filled up my mind and i was going to cry if i said more. i'm not good with words la.

so i shall say some now and as for others i'll write them letters (:

to the leaders: thank you for guiding the oais from the very beginning. without all the scoldings we wouldn't have improved. without your encouraging words, we wouldnt have had the motivation to persevere. to put in simply, without you there would be no us. thank you for all those memories you gave us.

to oais: you will be remembered! i will miss seeing you all every morning to set up. i will miss seeing you all freak out at the campcraft frog, i will miss kachiauing some of you, i will miss the times you made me laugh, i will miss the times you all suaned me, i will miss the times we stresses together, i will miss smiling at you, i will miss seeing us running about in oac. i will miss you all muchmuchmanymany. we were strangers at first, but now we've really grown much closer, and i'll miss you all terribly. so i'll count the days to our next belay school and see you all again. let it be soon!

to 3m, thank you for being nice people during belay school. although i didnt get to spend much time with you, i can see you all are more bonded. thank you for cheering me up when i was stressed before oac, thank you for making me smile (:
thank you also for trying to cheer us instructors up in the bus. we really appreciated it. and i am proud of all of you because you all cheered loudly and were bonded in oac. loves!

to campers: thank you for making us smile! at times we scold or nag but we still care ok! we can see the effort you all have made to improve, and we are proud of you!

i miss QM base. i regret not spending more time in it. if i could turn back time i'll spend every free moment in it. and i will spend every free moment of ltc in QM base. i dont know why, but i have the habit of taking my shoes off at doorways now, because i went to qm base so often. i miss wearing track pants, i miss sleeping late and waking early. i miss sleeping in bunk beds, i miss trying to walk quietly in squeaky flipflops. i miss suddenly chionging off to qm base to get logistics. i miss looking for my file. i miss the scoldings, the laughter, the many many little things that mattter the most. once you get used to something, you will feel empty without it.

i used to spend every day thinking of oac, writing proposals. but now oac is over so abruptly, i feel lost. i feel like i was in the wrong place and doing the wrong thing

but still oac has left happy memories.
i cant describe what oac made me feel, but i can say that for every moment i was in oac i felt pure happiness, just glad to be there. haha now you know the reason for why i smile. but other times i smile because i see funny things (:

i was super touched by the songs the leaders sang. and on the bus, the instuctors sang the graduation song. i just started crying each time someone sang those sad songs. although the instructors didn't sing very well, we meant every word we sang with out hearts.

overall, i think oac went well, and ya. we shall be strong.

the graduation song lyrics make me sad. and so does keep holding on.
probably very long until we see the leaders or each other again.

You’re not alone, together we stand
I’ll be by your side, you know I’ll take your hand
When it gets cold, and it feels like the end
There’s no place to go, you know I won’t give in
No, I won't give in,
Keep holding on
Cause you know we’ll make it through,
we’ll make it through
Just stay strong
Cause you know I’m here for you, I’m here for you

i will be here for anyone who needs somebody (: